you can be better than carrie bradshaw

trust me babes

good god she’s so extra

spoilers for some pretty big parts of sex and the city oop

look, i know it’s tempting.

who among us hasn’t wanted to be the type of girl who’s street smart, sexy, and stylish? who writes from somewhere real and endearing? who can afford an apartment in an upper east side brownstone on a salary from a weekly newspaper column? i’d be lying if i said i never let my early twenties journalism major self fantasize about being that. deep down there was a part of me that wanted to be that kind of grown up, one who got paid to write whatever i felt like and basically answer to nobody.

the problem is, carrie bradshaw kind of sucks actually. yes, she’s relatable, she’s flawed, she’s that kind of new yorker who manages to enjoy her life while also never being quite satisfied. but do we really want her to be the blueprint for cool girls anymore? at some point during lockdown (i can’t remember, it all kind of blurs together now) i watched the entire series — and i found myself getting progressively more annoyed by carrie. by season six, i was over it. i couldn’t take her attitude and her fuck-ups anymore. i am fully aware i could’ve stopped watching at any time, but it became like rubbernecking on the BQE: i was pissed and impatient and couldn’t help wanting to find out what happened. i think i wanted to see just how bad she could get.

an incomplete list of all the reasons i think carrie is low-key a shitty person:

1. she’s kind of a bad friend. like, when miranda threw her back out in the shower and aidan had to come get her off the floor? the way she pivots almost every brunch conversation from charlotte and the others venting to talking about herself and big? there’s a reason it’s become a meme.

2. she’s obsessive and petty. in the season 1 finale carrie goes to a fucking funeral just because she knows big and his mom will be there. she stalks his fiancee after he breaks up with her. she tries to force him to take her to paris. she ditches miranda multiple times for big even though it’s clear everyone with a pulse knows he’s bad for her and gets something out of messing with her.

3. she cheats, pretends to be single, and expects everybody in her life to forgive her. i will die on this hill: aidan shaw was and is too good for her!!! my flabber was literally gasted when he takes carrie to his house upstate, she whines like a little baby about how bored she is until big shows up, and then admits to lying about still fucking big and is all surprised when aidan is upset. they were never, ever going to be friends, girliepop! aidan is loyal, and he’s not a snob with a huge ego. she didn’t deserve to be engaged to him. take one thing seriously in your entire life please!!!

4. she makes snap decisions and most of them are fucking stupid. bar none the dumbest one has to be when she drops everything for a man and moves to europe with no job or plans. she runs around paris like a manic pixie dream girl until she realizes how lonely and unhappy she is when she can’t spend time with anyone but mikhail baryshnikov. she’s halfway across the world with a boyfriend she doesn’t really know and she can’t speak the language!! it’s not cute — when will you learn that your actions have consequences???

5. she let her husband die!!!! after all that, after all the will they won’t they and bitching and tension and whatnot she literally sat and watched the man she simped over for YEARS go into cardiac arrest. what was it all for then? she just… didn’t call 911. it was so ridiculous that i refuse to watch the rest of and just like that. even as a whole middle aged woman carrie is an immature mess. honestly, i’d be hesitant to take any advice from her let alone relationship advice. miss ma’am is clinging to relevance. i don’t even know how miranda and charlotte are still friends with her. (this is a samantha jones stan account 4ever)

honorable mentions: the biphobia, the deeply internalized misogyny, taking her job for granted, dressing like a delia’s catalogue, thinking her opinions are the most earth-shattering, judging other people for their life decisions, being literally millions of dollars in debt for an unrealistic and unsustainable lifestyle.

your writer girl, NYC cutie dreams are still valid. just don’t be so delusional you’re harming yourself and others. i believe in us.